No. 5 The Rat

I was desperate to get it over with. French kissing with David Bottomley around the back of the Spread Eagle and leaning over the space invader machine exposing my 32aa’s to Jimmy Gent didn’t go anywhere. Peter Eliot from Venture scouts was up for it, but his acne put me off and there was only so much I could take watching little Scottie in his tight shorts get a hard on in Gang Show rehearsals.
One Friday night the other school were having a 5th year disco. Pupils were allowed to invite one guest who didn’t attend the school. Marni (who went to the other school) invited me. I was determined to lose my virginity that night as Julie (the other of my best friends whose parents were also divorced) had lost hers the week before.
At the disco, Andy Rachor was celebrating his 16th birthday. After a short dance together we went outside and he took me to a porch attached to one of the school outbuildings. He lay his jacket on the concrete and I got down and he got down and knelt over me. I unzipped his new birthday pvc straights. In and out it went and it was over really quick and didn’t hurt a bit.
“Fuck” he said as he struggled to do up his trousers. “You’ve broken the fucking zip.” I wrote my phone number on his hand and we returned to the disco and slow danced with other boys and girls.
I was bursting to tell Julie I had joined her and Fiona Fill in the 5th year non-virgin club. I rang Julie first thing that Saturday morning. We shared our phone with Mr Ridgeway at No 4, BT called this a ‘party line’. Mr Ridgeway lived alone and was old and the last person in the cul-de-sac we’d want to party with. He hogged the phone with his plumbing business so it was a relief to hear a dialling tone. I had given up listening in on Mr Ridgeway’s calls, they were boring office stuff, but he listened in on mine as you’d hear the click which meant he’d picked up the phone. Mr Ridgeway heard my news before Fiona Fill.
I was excited when Andy rang me that same week. He suggested we meet for a walk in the woods. The date couldn’t come fast enough. He called for me Saturday afternoon and we walked out of the cul-de-sac, across the road and into West woods where dad walked the dog. We did it doggy style against a tree, this time I was pissed off cause I got green stains on the bum of my pink baggies from the tree bark. On the way home he invited me to his friend’s house party that same night. When I got there I didn’t know anyone as they were all from the other school and Andy was a bit vacant with me, but he followed me up to the bathroom and as I went for a wee he watched me while I watched him pulling off in the sink. When he’d finished he said “Don’t fucking laugh” and he left me in the bathroom. I washed my hands and followed him downstairs.
Another boy was coming up the stairs, we met halfway and helped each other balance on the same stair, both pissed.
“I fancy you”
“I fancy you”
I turned back up the stairs with him close behind and we went into a big bedroom and had nookie and sex. It was a bit boring on the bed, but it was quick and it was ok. I gave the boy my phone number but he never rang and neither did Andy. I was a bit sad.
Then two weeks later Andy rang.
“I’ve got to go into Rochford hospital to have a cartilage operation.”
“What’s that?”
“My knee, it’s all the football. Will you visit me? I’ve got to stay in for ages.”
I was well excited and set off for the hospital the day after Andy’s op with chocolates and grapes. It took me a while to find him in the wards. I walked past rows of beds full of old men. I’d been here a few years before to visit my granddad the month he died so I was used to tackle hanging out of hospital pyjamas. At the end of ward 5 on the 5th floor there was a bed with the curtains closed around it. I peeped through and there was Andy, sat upright with his leg all bandaged up with another girl sat beside him on the bed holding his hand. Andy smiled as the girl glared.
“There’s a visitor chair somewhere.”
I threw the gifts on the bed and left. Later that day I met up with Marni.
“He’s a wanker, he tried to touch me up in the swimming pool. Don’t know how you fancied him, he looks like a rat, he’s got that pointy rat-like nose. Andy rat face.”
“Yeah, Andy Rat.” I agreed.

All names , characters and incidents portrayed are fictitious, no identification with actual persons (living or deceased) places buildings and products is intended , or should be inferred .

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